


Carpe Diem

by pleasereadmeok



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 16:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6058519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasereadmeok/pseuds/pleasereadmeok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I miss her.  How is it that I can miss someone so much even though we barely know each other?”<br/>“It’s love I suppose.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carpe Diem

**Author's Note:**

> This takes up Henry’s story from after his phone call to Mary at the end of Episode 7. Mary has ended their relationship and we find out in Episode 8 that Henry has respected her wishes and not made contact. I found that a bit surprising. I must admit I thought he would be bombarding Mary with love letters and phone calls - but apparently not. So I imagined what he would do next and then of course I realised that he might have other duties to perform that might prevent him from pursuing Mary. Nothing particularly startling here - just filling in the gap between the episodes.

_“I can’t give you up.”_

Henry Talbot leant back in his chair and focussed on a spot on the ceiling. Gradually the spot drowned in his watery eyes. He had lost his best friend and the woman he was in love with in the space of a few hours.  
“Damn.”  
He lit a cigarette and watched the smoke coil upwards as he wallowed in his misery. He poured himself another drink and gulped the whisky down so fast the burn in his throat made him cough.  
“Damn it.”

Henry had waited so long to find the right woman and he was sure now that Mary was the one. He was not blind to Mary’s faults but he knew that they were a façade she hid behind to prevent her getting hurt. But now he may never have the chance to see what was behind the mask. Now he was losing her. 

It had been hard enough to persuade Mary to give cars a ‘second chance’, because they were part of his life, now Henry was wishing he hadn’t. At that moment, even he was questioning why he raced. Up until that awful day he had seen people injured during races or testing of course, but they were back in the car by the next race, determined not to give up. Racing drivers seemed to be a breed apart – risking their lives for the sake of winning. What was it all for? That fleeting rush when you win – gone in seconds. But a marriage to a woman like Mary would last a lifetime.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would think about how to get Mary back but tonight he thought about Charlie.

 

“How is she?” Henry asked Tom when he telephoned him at Belgrave Square the next day.  
“Pretty foul actually. She’s taking out her unhappiness on everyone else like a wounded animal.”  
“Do you think I should come to see her? Maybe we could at least talk about what happened.”  
“I think she would send you away with a flea in your ear! It’s too soon. With everything that happened with Matthew … she’s terrified of it happening a second time. She doesn’t want to risk being hurt again - it’s too deep.”  
“Should I give up trying? I don’t want to make things worse for her…”  
“No. I know she cares for you, just wait a while - don’t give up yet. But what about you Henry, how are you?”  
“I don’t really know, I think I’m still numb – I still can’t believe it.”  
“Take care of yourself Henry.”  
“Thank you, I will and please take care of Mary, I’m glad she has you to talk to.”  
Henry explained that he would be staying with Charlie’s family for the next few days and gave Tom instructions about how he could be contacted.

 

Henry tried to forget Mary for the moment and did what he could to console Charlie’s mother and sisters when he visited them in Durham. Charlie’s beloved eldest sister Elspeth saw that Henry was troubled and resolved to draw him out when they sat quietly by the fire one evening when the others had retired.  
“Henry, this has obviously hit you very hard. How are you?”  
“Me? You don’t need to worry about me.”  
“Will you race again?”  
“To be honest I don’t know. My heart isn’t in it anymore, I don’t think I can.”  
“Charlie mentioned a lady …”  
Henry smiled, happy to be remembering Mary, and then sad when he recalled their last conversation.  
“I'm afraid that may be over now. You see she was at Brooklands when it happened. Her husband died in a car accident and she’s frightened that it could happen again.”  
“But if you are not going to race again…”  
“I’m not sure if that is the only objection. She’s a great lady and I’m … well…me.”  
“Oh come now Henry, you are hardly a pauper and you are from one of the most respected families in England. She’d be mad to give you up.”  
“Maybe I should send you to plead my case!”  
“I would, if you wanted me to.”

Henry dealt with all of the arrangements. The funeral was well attended, the church overflowed with friends and family. He gave the eulogy and spoke tenderly about his friend. Soon it was all over and he said his goodbyes to Charlie’s family.  
“Don’t give up on your lady Henry.” Elspeth said as he left to drive south.  
Henry passed so close to Ripon. So close to Mary. Should he go to Downton? No. He trusted Tom’s opinion and drove home to London. 

A message awaited Henry from Tom.  
“Have patience – she’ll face up to her feelings eventually.”  
He poured himself a drink and lit a cigarette. Would Mary face up to her feelings? Did she even feel the same way as he did? He had to believe it.

 

A few days later Henry received a letter from Elspeth Rogers.  
_‘My dear Henry._  
_Thank you for your kindness to our family and your affectionate words about Charlie. Your support was a great help to us when we needed it most…’_  
She explained that Charlie had remembered Henry in his Will and left him his guns and his most prized possession – his car. Henry felt his throat tighten as he thought about the happy trips they had made in that car. 

Henry telephoned Elspeth to arrange another visit to Durham. The Rogers family were delighted to see him again and they had a lively dinner sharing old stories about Charlie. After dinner Elspeth steered Henry aside and asked gently,  
“Have you seen Lady Mary since we saw you last? I wondered if you might go to see her on the way home.”  
“No. I can’t rush her… Maybe I’ll telephone her brother in law to see how she is.”

 

“Is Mary any better?” Henry asked Tom when he telephoned from the Rogers’ library.  
“Still the same, staring blankly into space most of the time. I took her to see one of the woods this morning and she went into a trance! What about you?”  
“I miss her. How is it that I can miss someone so much even though we barely know each other?”  
“It’s love I suppose.”  
“It’s more than that. I seem to have this fixed belief that we need each other, that we’re destined to be together. I’m not just chasing after her for … well … I want to marry her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Is that as strange as it sounds?”  
“No.” Tom snorted a laugh, “I understand. I felt the same way about Sybil. We were poles apart but I just knew it was meant to be. Look Henry – I love Mary but I know how stubborn she can be. If that’s how you truly feel about her then I think you should come here and have it out with her.”  
“I don’t know. If it’s too soon and she rejects me, well then there would be no hope.”  
“Think about it. Everyone would be delighted to see you again. Bertie’s here as well – to settle things with Edith we hope.”

“Is everything alright?” Elspeth enquired when Henry re-joined the family for coffee. “Will she see you?”  
“Tom thinks I should go there, to Downton.”  
“You’re not sure are you? Henry before you decide, I have to give you something from Charlie. I was going to wait until tomorrow…. Come back into the library.”  
Henry was puzzled.  
“I don’t understand.”  
Elspeth went to the desk in the library and retrieved a letter from Charlie, written just two weeks before he died.  
“Charlie showed it to me before he sealed it but I think it might help you now.”  
Elspeth left Henry to read the letter in private.

 _‘Well old boy, if you are reading this then I’ve bought it…’_ The letter ended with these words – _‘You must remember dear boy that when you reach your dying day, you won’t be wishing you had won more races. You will be wishing you had spent more time with the people you love. Good luck with Lady Mary – carpe diem! All the best. Charlie.’_

Henry stared at Charlie’s words ‘carpe diem’, the very same words he had used when he had last spoken with Mary. In that moment he came to a decision.  
“Yes damn it. Carpe diem. Seize the day.”


End file.
